English 101 Reflection Post! :)

Being in Mrs. Thomas’ English 101 class has been such an awesome experience. She makes learning interesting and fun instead of dull and boring. I have learned so much in just a few short months. Before coming here, I thought that my high school English classes had prepared me well, but I was so wrong! English classes in college require a lot more critical thinking than in high school. That was something I definitely needed to work on and I feel that my critical thinking skills have improved. I ask questions about everything I read. Instead of simply reading a text, now I read it, interpret it, and analyze it.  I have learned to read between the lines and not automatically assume things based on the surface.

                I know that I am a good writer and I have the potential to write great papers, but I have a few downfalls. I have always struggled with creating a thesis statement and I still have a few issues with it. I tend to be a little too “wordy” when I create a thesis statement. So, I still have to work on making my thesis statements direct and to the point. My researching skills have definitely improved. I used to have so much trouble trying to find sources for my papers, but now I am able to go on the library database or Google and find what I need. Oh, and I cannot forget about Bridging the Difference! That book literally became my Bible this semester. I was always referring to it and checking myself.

                The fact that we are able to use technology in the classroom was really cool. I am not the most tech savvy person out there, so being able to use technology often has definitely helped me. I like using the blogs to post our thoughts and ideas because it was kind of like posting an outline for everyone to see and give their opinions on. I also liked being able to see other people’s ideas. It is good to see different ideas from a different point of view. And I absolutely love that we could submit our papers through Blackboard. It is so easy and convenient to do. I also liked doing the infographics because they were actually really fun to do. It gave us a chance to show our creativity while presenting research for a topic.

                I have learned so much in this class that will benefit me in the future. I am so glad that Mrs. Thomas was my teacher because she is just the best. Any questions or concerns I had, (and trust me, there were plenty) she was there to answer them. I would recommend Mrs. Thomas to any incoming freshmen. So, thank you Mrs. Thomas for making my first semester of college a great one! I’ll see you in English 102 next semester!

Rough Draft for Essay 4!

***So, this one was really tough to write. Emphasize the word ROUGH in rough draft haha! :) Not my finest work, but here it is anyways.

Ashley Lewis

Instructor Thomas

English 101: Critical Conversations Research Paper

7 December 2012

Should We Be Scared of Student Loans?

            So, here is a scary thought: according to TIME magazine, the amount of student loan debt has reached $1 trillion dollars. This is more than what Americans owe on their credit cards. The article titled “Occupy student debt” has said that, “of this $1 trillion in student loan debt, $36 billion of it is owed by people over 60, coming from either unpaid loans right after college, loans for mid-career educations, or co-signed loans for younger family members.” One would think that getting an education would be a good thing, but with numbers like these, does it really pay off in the end? A loan is money you borrow and must pay back with interest (Loans). The people that use these loans are college students. They are given the loans through the government. And the college students are given information about loans from their university. It seems simple enough, but why is it that the student loan debt is $1 trillion dollars? The government and universities need to educate college students about the benefits and harmful effects of loans before students jump right into applying for student loans.

            The group that is impacted the most by student loans, obviously, is the college students. They are the ones going after an education to better themselves and their future. Most of the time, they cannot afford all of the costs of college on their own. Some are lucky to get scholarships, but the majority has to take out loans. According to Janet Hansen, writer of “Student Loans: Are They Overburdening a Generation,” student loans are used by both the middle class and lower income families. The majority of Americans come from the middle class and lower class families, so that means they have to turn to student loans in order to have a good education. There is nothing wrong with taking out a student loan; the problem is paying back the loan. Student loans are common at community colleges and proprietary schools as well as among students in traditional baccalaureate programs, but the heaviest dependence on loans and the highest debt levels are among students at private colleges (Hansen). Tuition of private colleges are so much more expensive than public colleges, so it makes sense that loans and higher debt levels would be from students attending private colleges.

            In the article, “A Sharper Focus on What Students Pay, and Whether They Graduate,” written by Sara Lipka, she states that, “among bachelor's-degree recipients, a greater percentage-about two-thirds-took out loans, and the average amount of debt per borrower rose to more than $25,000 for the Class of 2010.” Basically, most Americans that take out a loan will end up in some sort of student loan debt. It seems as if it is inevitable to for young adults to end up in debt. Even our own President had student loan debt. He and his wife started their marriage with a mortgage and two outstanding student loans (Fawn Johnson). This just goes to show people that even the most powerful man in the world went through the same things that most college students are going through now. The difference is that tuition rates at four-year institutions have tripled since he and Michelle Obama were students (Johnson).

            Of course, college students are not the only ones that play a role in student loans. Universities also hold a big part in them too. Most universities give students some form of financial aid. In fact, according to Sara Lipka, “many colleges continue offering generous financial aid, but some seem to have overextended themselves.” Cornell University pulled back from its "no loans" policy this year, lowering families' income eligibility, and Wesleyan University curtailed its need-blind admissions (Lipka). It seems as if more and more schools want people to attend their universities. Even Ivy League schools withdraw their “no loans” policies just so more people can come and attend their school. But tuition for Ivy League schools is so much more expensive, which means students would have to take out more loans in order to cover the costs.

            I think it is fair to say that tuition for college is very expensive. Some people may not realize just how expensive it is. Beginning last October, all colleges were required to post net-price calculators on their Web sites, to provide early estimates of what students would pay to attend. And federal officials urged colleges to adopt a standard form for displaying cost and aid information to students. Financial-aid administrators opposed that move, arguing that they should decide the best way to communicate that information (Lipka). I highly disagree with the financial-aid administrators. It would be very easy and convenient for students to go on the school’s website and see what they should expect when it comes to costs for college. But with financial-aid administrators not wanting to move in that direction, students will be left to decide for themselves how much money in loans they take out.

            Lastly, another very important component to student loans is the government. This is where all the money for student loans comes from. The government is also responsible for a very helpful thing called the Pell Grant. According to Haley Chitty, who wrote the article, “Presidential opinions: contrasting Obama and Romney campaigns' student aid policies,” federal spending on student aid has increased dramatically during the Obama administration, with Pell Grant spending doubling from $15.4 billion in 2007-2008 to $34.8 billion in 2010-2011. This is a very huge jump in just three years. But it has definitely been worth it. With having the Pell Grant and a scholarship or two under your belt, that alone could cover one’s tuition, depending on how much the tuition at that particular school is. I feel that the Pell Grant is very important because with it, students may not have to take out as many loans. As a result, the student loan debt would not be as high.

            My personal stance on the issue of student loans would be that they are both beneficial and harmful. People that come from middle class and low income families take out in loans in order to pay for their education, which is a good thing. But after those four years of school are complete, trying to pay back those thousands of dollars in student loans are the very thing that could make or break someone. College graduates need to create a repayment plan and make sure to make every payment, that way they do not have to worry about going into debt in the future. Student loans are not something that can be taken lightly. They have serious consequences if they are not paid off. Someone’s bright future could be ripped away from them if they have outstanding student loan debt. As long people are aware of how student loans work, they can be a very positive thing.

 

Works Cited

Chitty, Haley. "Presidential opinions: contrasting Obama and Romney campaigns' student aid      policies." University Business Nov. 2012: 20+. Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Hansen, Janet S. “Student Loans: Are They Overburdening a Generation?” Education Resources             Information Center. New York, NY, 1987. Web. 27 Nov. 2012.

Johnson, Fawn. "Obama Largely Powerless to Cut College Tuition." National Journal (2012).       Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Lipka, Sara. "A Sharper Focus on What Students Pay, and Whether They Graduate." The Chronicle of Higher Education 59.01 (2012). Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Loans. Federal Student Aid: An Office of the U.S. Department of Educaion. 2012. Web. 29 Nov.           2012.

"Occupy student debt." Radical Teacher Fall 2012: 74. Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Rotherham, Andrew J. “Student Loans: Is There Really a Crisis?” TIME. 17 May 2012: 1. Web.   29 Nov. 2012.

 

Infographic for Essay 4!

I'll be honest...this thing kicked my butt! But here is the link for my infographic. Hopefully it works!

http://prezi.com/xec45ducq0d4/student-loans/

Topic Proposal for Final Essay! :)

The topic that I have chosen to write about for my final paper is student loans. Just saying "student loans" sends a chill down a college student's spine (at least it does for me). For me, this is pretty close to me, since I have a scholarship, the Pell Grant, and I had to take out a small loan (which it turns out I didn't even need). The loan may seem small now, but how much will I have to pay back after graduation? So, my research question is, how do people manage to get themselves so deep into student loan debt and how can I avoid it myself? As for the viewpoints, I don't exactly have that down yet. Obviously, the student would be one, but I don't know any others. If you guys could give me some suggestions, that would be awesome! Here are my sources that I found a few days ago:

Johnson, Fawn. "Obama Largely Powerless to Cut College Tuition." National Journal (2012). Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

"Occupy student debt." Radical Teacher Fall 2012: 74. Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Lipka, Sara. "A Sharper Focus on What Students Pay, and Whether They Graduate." The Chronicle of Higher Education 59.01 (2012). Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Stratford, Michael. "U.S. Student Aid Will End for Those Without High-School Diplomas." The Chronicle of Higher Education 58.40 (2012). Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Chitty, Haley. "Presidential opinions: contrasting Obama and Romney campaigns' student aid policies." University Business Nov. 2012: 20+. Academic OneFile. Web. 16 Nov. 2012.

Self Reflection About Essay 3

Well, of course, my paper followed MLA format. My title probably could have been catchier, but I've always struggled coming up with titles. They are not exactly my strongest area of expertise. I feel that I had a good introduction, stating the song that I was analyzing and why. Mrs. Thomas said my thesis was pretty good. It probably should have been a little more detailed, but it was still good. I think that I did okay with citing my sources, but I don't think I had the best sources. Finding sources was a little harder than I thought, especially since the song I analyzed was not as well-known. Some of my paragraphs were longer than others, which I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing. Some topics were easy to talk about and I knew what I was doing, while others were a little harder for me. One thing that I really struggled with was my conclusion paragraph. For whatever reason, I just could not manage to bring my paper full circle and find a good way to close it. Of course, I tweaked with it as much as I could until I felt that it was okay. But I still don't think it was good enough. Overall, I feel that I did a decent job on my paper. It's probably not A+ material, but I don't think that my paper is terrible. In the end, I deserve whatever grade I get on my paper. I just hope that it is a good grade.

Essay 3 Rough Draft

***If anyone has any tips on how to improve my paper, it would be GREATLY appreciated! I really struggled with this paper and my conclusion paragraph really sucks. But I don't know how to make it come full circle. Thank you guys!! :)

Ashley Lewis

Instructor Thomas

English 101: Pop Culture Essay

2 November 2012

Words within the Flesh

            It is not often that you turn on the radio and there is a band singing about anorexia. But for the band, Silverchair, they did just that. The song that I am analyzing is “Ana’s Song (Open Fire)” by Silverchair. This song is about Daniel Johns, the lead singer of Silverchair, and his own battle with anorexia. He shows his audience the painful truth behind anorexia with haunting lyrics and strong beats that keep the listeners captivated.

            In the very opening of the song, Johns sings, “Please die, Ana.” Even though he is so addicted to the disease, he still hates it with a fiery passion and wants it to go away. Another line of the song that gives us an inside look on how anorexics think is, “In my head the flesh seems thicker/Sandpaper tears corrode the film.” Not many people realize what an anorexic has to go through every day, but Johns does a good job at painting his audience a picture of how people think who are suffering from the disease. He sings that “Ana” is his “obsession” and how he “loves [her] to the bones.” He also sings that “Ana wrecks your life/Like an anorexia life.” He is showing his audience that this disease is like a person that he is addicted to and he cannot get enough of it. At the same time, he knows that it is destroying his life and possibly killing him.

            At the time of the Australian band, Silverchair’s debut in 1995 with their album, Frogstomp, Daniel Johns, bassist Chris Joannou, and drummer Ben Gillies were only a mere fifteen years old. They got to tour the word with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who are like grown up kids. Critics often snubbed Silverchair as “Nirvana in Diapers,” but only because Daniel Johns had hair like Nirvana’s lead singer. Johns said he did not cut his hair because he did not “want to give critics the satisfaction.” These boys were in it for the music and they did not care what anyone had to say to them.

            In 1999, Silverchair released “Ana’s Song (Open Fire),” which revealed the lead singer’s on-going battle with anorexia nervosa. In an interview in Rolling Stone magazine with Blair Fischer, Johns said, “I’ve been told that it’s when you feel like you’ve lost control of your life and you start really controlling anything you can control and it just so happens to be the one thing that no one can tell you what to do.” He even goes on to explain “I wasn’t eating and it went on for about six months to a year.”

            Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder in which an individual starves themselves and has an irrational fear of gaining weight, as well as a distorted body image of themselves. Usually, anorexia nervosa only affects adolescent women. But, as it turns out, GQ magazine stated that “20% of anorexics are men.” Just like women want to be like a beautiful, skinny model, men want to be good-looking and have nice, chiseled abs like male models in Calvin Klein boxers.

            For Daniel Johns, I believe that writing “Ana’s Song (Open Fire)” not only helped him reveal to his fans that he had anorexia nervosa, but it also was a way for him to cope with it. Even though professional help is the overall way to help overcome this disease, writing music is a good way help adolescents deal with it. Katrina McFerran wrote an article about a study that was done to see if song-writing in music therapy was effective. Fifteen adolescents with anorexia nervosa submitted seventeen songs and from those lyrics, six themes were pulled from the songs. When young people pen their thoughts onto paper, it helps them get out all of their emotions and whatever is on their mind. Some topics may be too personal for them to talk about, but being able to put it into a song is easier for people. I believe that this helped Daniel Johns and from this, he created a hit song that still affects people today.

            Silverchair’s music is usually under the genre “alternative.” Alternative is another form of rock music, which I think makes a big difference in “Ana’s Song (Open Fire).” The use of guitars and drums gives the song a darker feel to it, since the subject matter is pretty dark. Johns’ voice sounds almost pained since he is putting his darkest secret out on the table for everyone to see. But at the same time, he sounds hopeful because he knows there is help out there and he desperately wants to get better.

            “Ana’s Song (Open Fire)” is a powerful song that sheds light on a serious issue. Johns’ bravery to come out about his battle with anorexia nervosa in song inspires others to do the same. This song will always be a classic in the eyes of many people.

Works Cited

“Alternative rock.” Wikipedia 27 Oct. 2012. Web. 27 Oct. 2012.

“Anorexia Nervosa.” Wikipedia 27 Oct. 2012. Web. 27 Oct. 2012.

Fischer, Blair. “Silverchair Frontman Reveals Battle with Anorexia.” Rolling Stone 10 June           1999: 1. Web. 22 Oct. 2012.

Hendrickson, Matt. “Silverchair Let Their Freak Flag Fly.” Rolling Stone 753 (1997): 17.               Academic Search Complete. EBSCO Host. University of South Carolina Upstate. Web.                    19 Oct. 2012.

McFerran, Katrina, Felicity Baker, George Patton, Susan Sawyer. “A Retrospective Lyrical          Analysis of Songs Written by Adolescents with Anorexia Nervosa.” European Eating             Disorders Review 14.6 (2006): 397-403. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO Host.   University of   South Carolina Upstate. Web. 19 Oct. 2012.

Penn, Nathaniel. “20% of Anorexics Are Men.” GQ September 2012: 5. Web. 22 Oct. 2012.

Silverchair. “Ana’s Song (Open Fire).” Neon Ballroom. Sony Music Productions, 1999. Digital     Download.

 

Reflection on Essay #2

One thing is for sure, this paper was VERY DIFFERENT from the first paper. The first essay came very easily to me because it came from a special place in my heart. But with the second essay, it was a little new for me having to do summary and analysis. I really struggled with this paper. I had a rough time coming up with a thesis for my paper. Honestly, I think the one that's on my final draft still wasn't good enough. Another thing that tripped me up was analysis. I never realized how in-depth you had to be when it came to analysis. But, something that really helped was my conference with Mrs. Thomas. Being able to sit with her one-on-one and have her tell me what was good and what I needed to work on helped me a lot. And I really did enjoy the chapter I worked on, which was Chapter 5, The Bipolar Epidemic and the Chameleon Effect. It was a very interesting chapter to write about because I was able to relate with some of the examples in the chapter and then write about it in my paper. I followed MLA style and did all of my formatting correctly. Overall, this paper was a pain to write, but I did learn from it and I can use what I learned for my next essay and any other papers I have to do in my college career.

Essay #3 Song Choice :)

"Ana's Song (Open Fire)" by Silverchair
Please die Ana
For as long as you're here we're not
You make the sound of laughter
and sharpened nails seem softer
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears corrode the film

And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you

And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an Anorexia life

Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Open fire on the needs designed
Open fire on my knees desires
On my knees for you

So, I chose this song because it's about the lead singer's battle with anorexia. The interesting part is that he's a guy and you don't hear about guys dealing with anorexia often. But other than that, I don't know much about this band or their other music, but I'm excited to find out. I only know about this song and the meaning behind it because my 10th grade Comp/Research teacher played the song for my class and told us the meaning behind it. From that point on, I was hooked. I thought this song would make a really good paper talking about his struggles with the disease and anorexia in general.

Summary and Analysis Rough Draft

Ashley Lewis

Instructor Thomas

English 101: Summary and Analysis

12 October 2012

Summary and Analysis of Sway

            Have you ever wondered why people are so quick to label others based on appearances or first impressions? Do we really pick up on traits that are assigned to us by other people, without even realizing it? Ori and Rom Brafman try to prove this in their book, Sway, in Chapter 5, which is titled, The Bipolar Epidemic and the Chameleon Effect.

            In The Bipolar Epidemic and the Chameleon Effect, the Brafman brothers talk about the sway, diagnosis bias. They argue that when it comes to diagnosing, people usually rely on random information. But, when we are diagnosed, we take on the traits ascribed to us, making the diagnosis reinforced. This can happen to almost anyone, including well-seasoned doctors, “bipolar” children, Israeli soldiers, adventurous hikers, and even normal women waiting for a phone call.

            While reading this chapter, I was able to follow each story pretty well. They flowed from one story to another, which was easy to understand. The Brafman brothers were able to tie the previous story to the next story and so on, which made the stories connected in some way. Each paragraph was the same length, which did not take away from the stories. The authors were able to give all the information that they needed to and it still made sense.

An example that I found the most interesting was the phone call between the women and the men. Fifty-one women had signed up for a study on communications. They just figured that they would be chit-chatting with a random man, who knew nothing about them. Little did they know, the men had also signed up for a communication study and they were given a bio and picture of the women they were about to speak with. The bios about each woman were true, but the picture was not. Some men were given pictures of very attractive women, while some men got pictures of more average looking women. Of course, every man is going to look at the picture more than the actual bio of the woman. After looking over both items, they were given an “Impression Formation Questionnaire.” Despite what the bios said about the women, the men had already formed their opinion. Men who saw pictures of attractive ladies, “expected to interact with sociable, poised, humorous, and socially adept women” (102). But the men that ended up with less attractive ladies, “thought the women would be unsociable, awkward, serious, and socially inept” (102). The conversations started and the women engaged in normal chitchat. But that was not the real experiment.

            The real experiment was playing back the women’s side of the conversation to twelve totally random people that knew nothing about the biases the men had. Surprisingly, those people caught on to what was going on. After listening to the recordings, “[The twelve people] attributed the same traits to the women based on their voices alone that the men had attributed to them based on their (fake) photos” (103).

            The Brafman brothers describe this as the “chameleon effect,” which is “when we brand or label people, they take on the characteristics of the diagnosis” (100). To break it down even more, “[the] mirroring of expectations is known as the Pygmalion effect (describing how we take on positive traits assigned to us by someone else) and the Golem effect (describing how we take on negative traits)” (100). So in the case of the women, when the men interacted with the “beautiful” women, they caught on to that and in turn, sounded beautiful. It is interesting to see how people put the “chameleon effect” into play.

            When I read that example, it automatically made me think of a situation my high school English teacher told our class about. He had signed up for Match.com and he started to talk to a woman that lived in Charleston. Apparently, she looked very beautiful in her profile picture. The two of them talked online and even talked on the phone. From what he saw on the woman’s profile, he thought that she was attractive and very sociable. The only difference between the Brafmans’ example and my teacher is that he actually got to meet the girl. He ended up going down to Charleston to go on a real date with her and when she opened the door, he was not pleased at all. He recalls the whole experience as, “hanging out with the whale at Charleston Harbor.” But, the two stories still have the same concept them and I was able to point that out.

            The Brafman brothers did an excellent job proving that diagnosis bias really does exist. Reading The Bipolar Epidemic and the Chameleon Effect really made me think about my actions and other people’s actions, which was the whole point of the chapter and the entire book, as well. Before, I never thought anything of “sways”, but now, I notice all the little things that people say and do and I automatically think of diagnosis bias. After reading this chapter, the Brafman brothers have made me a believer of the diagnosis bias.

           

Someone Help! Please?!

Ok, I missed class today and I missed the class discussion, which I'm assuming was mostly about the summary and analysis paper. Hopefully someone can tell me what I missed because it will help me out a lot. And I know the first draft is due Friday, but I have no idea what to do. I've looked at the example papers to get some sort of idea as to what to do, but to be honest, I'm lost. I don't really know how to start my paper and I really don't know how to come up with 4 pages! If anyone has any suggestions or pointers on how to do this, it would be greatly appreciated!

Preface Event #1

Dear Preface Planning Committee,

            I attended the Preface event, “Breaking up is hard to do: A closer look at intimate relationships” and Frances Jarratt-Hortis was the speaker of the night. The event was on September 20, 2012 from 6 PM to 7 PM. Frances Jarratt-Hortis talked about being in love and being in relationships as college students. We watched a few YouTube videos about being in a relationship while in college. She also asked the audience a lot of questions and did a poll with our answers. I thought the event was perfect for college students who are in relationships.

            The event was definitely a lot more different than I thought it was going to be. I pictured a speaker giving a lecture and giving us statistics on college romances. But that was not really the case. She was very active with the audience, asking us questions about our own relationships and letting us answer honestly. It was a very fun environment, which I really liked a lot. Love and relationships are something every college student is bound to run into at some point in their lives, so I believe that this event really benefited people.

            The only thing I wish the speaker had done was give more facts. Out of everything we talked about, she only gave us a few facts about relationships. She told us that 75% of college couples do not even get married; she gave us the warning signs of a toxic relationship, and some other little things. Everything else we talked about were just opinions, which is great because it is good to hear other people’s opinions and what they believe. But I think some more facts would have been really good.

            I found at least one connection with the event and Sway. In Chapter 4, the Brafman brothers talk about the diagnosis bias and how it affects lovesick college students that are in a new relationship. The students ignored the warning signs in their partner and chose to continue in the relationship, thinking that it would work out in the end. We all believe that nothing like that would ever happen to us. Most likely, it will happen to a majority of college students, maybe even me.

            I’m really glad I attended this event because I feel that it was very beneficial for me. As a college freshman, I’m going to be experiencing new things. I’m 99% sure that at some point or another, I will meet a guy and fall head over heels in love with him. Now, I feel better prepared to go into a relationship, knowing what I want and what will be a deal breaker for me. Also, I know the signs of an unhealthy relationship and know that I need to get out of it. Overall, this was a very interesting event and I feel good about attending it. Other than more facts, I would not change a thing about the event.

             

Lil' Man Digital Story

 

 

Digital Story Stress!!!

Ughh, I just really need to vent right now about my digital story! I pretty much almost have it done, except for recording like one more paragraph. The story is supposed to be in a 3-5 minute range, but I don't think I'll be able to do that! I've cut out as much unnecessary info as I can, but everything else that I have has to stay or else it wouldn't make much sense, at least that's what I think. So now I'm super stressed about it going over the 5 minute limit and being too long!!!! Ahhhhh, what am I gonna do!?!?!?!?!? :(

My Reflection on My Literacy Narrative :)

Writing about my brother was harder than I thought it was going to be. His passing has always been very hard on me and I usually don't like to talk about it. But I felt like writing about it now would help me break through that barrier. Of course, I got choked up writing this paper, so I would have to take a break, regain my focus, and then come back to it later. Overall, I feel like I did a good job on my literacy narrative. I followed MLA format and my paragraphs flowed nicely. I am OCD when it comes to things like that. I make sure that everything looks perfect with everything that I do. I think I did a good job on portraying imagery and the emotions that I felt during that time. The only thing I feel like I could have done better on was my last two paragraphs. I've always been terrible at endings, so trying to come up with a good ending for my paper was hard. I honestly don't think that my ending was strong enough for my paper, but I tried my best. I definitely need to work on endings and things of that nature in the future. Other than that, I feel that I did a good job and did everything that was asked of me.

My Literacy Narrative: Lil' Man

Ashley Lewis

Instructor T. Thomas

English 101, Section 018: Literacy Narrative

14 September 2012

Lil’ Man

It was July 31^st, 2005 at 4:30 AM when my parents got home. I knew what was coming, but I did not want to believe it. It could not happen. Not me, not my family. Why could such a thing happen? I looked at my best friend, Brianna, for an answer. Any answers to help get rid of the tightness in my throat. The slightest hope that this was all just a horrible nightmare and I would wake up any minute. She was silent, only staring at me. I saw the tears brimming in her big, brown eyes. I got up off the couch and ran to the kitchen where my parents were. They looked exhausted, like they decided to give up on everything. My mom looked at me and said, “He’s gone.”

That was all it took to shatter my entire world. Jesse, my little brother, was really gone. I felt like I was going to be sick at any moment. How? Why? What did he do? What did any of us do to deserve this? I went into his room and just stood there. I never felt as empty as I did then. I grabbed Jesse’s favorite Winnie the Pooh blanket and held it to my face. I crashed to the floor and broke down sobbing. Brianna came in silently and hugged me for what seemed like an eternity. She convinced me to get off the floor and go get some sleep. I trudged into my room and fell onto my bed.

            Jesse, my little brother, was born prematurely on October 11^th, 1997, weighing 1 pound, 10 ounces. He had to stay in the hospital for three months since he was so premature. The day he was finally able to come home, I was the happiest, proudest big sister ever. Even though I was three when he was born, I was so excited to be a big sister. When people would ask me how I liked being a big sister, I could not help but smile from ear to ear. He had chocolate brown hair, big, dark brown eyes, and a cute button nose. My little brother was absolutely perfect.

But, when Jesse was eight months old, my family got some life changing news. He was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, which is a kind of brain damage. It affects a person’s movements, learning, seeing, hearing, and thinking. In Jesse’s case, he was not able to walk or talk. He was also partially blind. But that did not change my mind about how I felt about him. He was my little brother and I loved him to pieces. He was perfectly normal to me and that was all that mattered. Strangers, on the other hand, did not see it that way. Whenever we would go out into public with my brother, children and adults would just gawk at him like he was some hideous creature. I can understand little kids staring at him, but adults? He is just a child and he cannot help the way that he is. So, why would you stare at him in such a way? Seeing people staring at my brother would make my blood boil with anger. I always felt the need to go up to those gawkers and ask just exactly what it was they were staring at and why. Finally, I got to a point where I would not let it bother me. I just turned it off like a light switch. I was not going to let complete strangers get the best of me.

            Even though Jesse had CP, he was still like a normal boy. His nickname was “Lil’ Man”. I honestly do not know how it came about, but it just stuck. His favorite food was sweet potato pie, he loved listening to Barney, and he loved to laugh. People could make him giggle, but I was the one that could get him to hysterically laugh. For a little guy, he had the loudest laugh ever. If he was laughing, you could hear him from the other room. Hearing him laugh and seeing him smile always lit up my world. People who got to know Jesse were always touched by him. My second grade teacher, Mrs. Miller, was enthralled with him. At any school event that we brought Jesse to, she would turn her chair around and talk to him, rub his hand, and sing to him. There was always a light in her eyes whenever she saw him. I wish more people could have taken the time to get to know Jesse like Mrs. Miller did.

            When you have a disabled child, nothing is ever smooth sailing. Jesse was always in and out of the hospital. He had to have several surgeries and he would get sick a lot. My brother would always go to a children’s hospital in Augusta, Georgia, since they had everything that he needed. Usually, I would miss school and stay at the hospital, I would stay at a friend’s house, or my dad would stay with me while my mom stayed with my brother. Thank goodness the staff at my elementary school was so understanding. One time when my brother was in the hospital, they all got together and bought Jesse some flowers and a teddy bear and had it sent to the hospital. It touched us that they cared so much for my brother and me.

            In July, 2005, that was when everything changed completely. One morning, my brother was not acting like his usual self. His eyes were half open and he was very quiet and groggy. I could not even get him to laugh for me. Of course, my parents were concerned, so they decided to take him to Greenville Memorial Hospital. I went to go stay with my friend, Shelley. When my parents realized things were serious, they stayed at the hospital and let me stay with Shelley. My parents took me up to the hospital twice to visit my brother.

I never realized how bad it was until I walked into his hospital room. He was hooked up to a ventilator to help him breathe. There were wires, tubes, and beeping machines everywhere. The smell was sterile and the room was a dull white. As a twelve year old girl, it was too much to take. Seeing my brother in that condition nearly killed me, especially knowing there was not a single thing I could do for him. The doctors concluded that what probably happened was he had a seizure very early in the morning while we were asleep. The severe strength of the seizure, for a lack of better words, messed up his brain and could no longer function the way he could before. Doctors told my parents that if they kept Jesse on life support, then he would pretty much be a vegetable for the rest of his life. So, my parents were forced to make the most difficult decision in their entire life.

            July 31^st was an excruciating day. I was not there when Jesse’s life support was turned off. My parents thought it was best for me to stay home. They let my best friend, Brianna, come over and keep me company. Originally, my mom’s friend, Beth, was supposed to pick us up, to help keep my mind off of everything. But she never showed up. I never did find out why. So, Brianna and I found ways to keep ourselves entertained. We played games, talked, and danced around to some of my parents’ old CDs. My neighbor stopped by around 6 PM and asked us if we wanted Blue Bay Seafood. Of course we agreed and before we knew it, we were eating popcorn shrimp for dinner. My mom called to check on us a few times throughout the day. They had no idea how long it would take for Jesse to actually pass once the life support was turned off. At around 2:30 AM, 13 hours after his life support was turned off; our angel finally went home to the Lord.

            Since Jesse passed away, I look at life in a totally different perspective. In the past, I let life pass me by without a care in the world, not truly realizing what was precious to me. Losing my little brother taught me that I need to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way. If I do not grasp what I want most in life then the opportunity may not be there the next day. Now, I always remember to say “I love you” to the ones I care about the most, I strive to do my best in everything I do to make my family and friends proud of me, and I am more eager than ever to further my education and get a good career.

 Choosing to go to college was the best decision I ever made for myself. I knew that if I did not go to college, I would have a tough road ahead of me. I did not want to let an opportunity as important as this go down the drain. Every day when I walk on campus, I know that I am blessed for everything that I have. It is never easy to lose someone that you love, but I know that Jesse is watching over me. When the sun shines, I know that is him smiling down on me. I believe that if Jesse was able to talk, he would have told me that he lived by one motto: Live, Laugh, Love. For him, I will live my life to the fullest following his motto.

 

My Literacy Narrative :)

            It was July 31^st, 2005 at 4:30 AM when my parents got home. I knew what was coming, but I did not want to believe it. It could not happen. Not me, not my family. Why could such a thing happen? I looked at my best friend, Brianna, for an answer. Any answers to help get rid of the tightness in my throat. The slightest hope that this was all just a horrible nightmare and I would wake up any minute. She was silent, only staring at me. I saw the tears brimming in her big brown eyes. I got up off the couch and ran to the kitchen where my parents were. They looked exhausted, like they decided to give up on everything. My mom looked at me and said, “He’s gone.” That was all it took to shatter my entire world. Jesse, my little brother, was really gone. I felt like I was going to be sick at any moment. How? Why? What did he do? What did any of us do to deserve this? I went into his room and just stood there. I never felt as empty as I did then. I grabbed Jesse’s favorite Winnie the Pooh blanket and held it to my face. I crashed to the floor and broke down sobbing. Brianna came in silently and hugged me for what seemed like an eternity. She convinced me to get off the floor and go get some sleep. I trudged into my room and fell onto my bed.

            Jesse, my little brother, was born prematurely on October 10^th, 1997, weighing 1 pound, 10 ounces. He had to stay in the hospital for three months since he was so premature. The day he was finally able to come home, I was the happiest, proudest big sister ever. Even though I was three when he was born, I was so excited to be a big sister. When people would ask me how I liked being a big sister, I could not help but smile from ear to ear. My little brother was absolutely perfect. But, when Jesse was eight months old, my family got some life changing news. He was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, which is a kind of brain damage. It affects a person’s movements, learning, seeing, hearing, and thinking. In Jesse’s case, he was not able to walk or talk. He was also partially blind. But that did not change my mind about how I felt about him. He was my little brother and I loved him to pieces. He was perfectly normal to me and that was all that mattered. Strangers, on the other hand, did not see it that way. Whenever we would go out into public with my brother, children and adults would just gawk at him like he was some hideous creature. I can understand little kids staring at him, but adults? He is just a child and he cannot help the way that he is. So, why would you stare at him in such a way? Seeing people staring at my brother would make my blood boil with anger. Finally, I got to a point where I would not let it bother me. I just turned it off like a light switch. I was not going to let complete strangers get the best of me.

            Even though Jesse had CP, he was still like a normal boy. His nickname was “Lil’ Man”. I honestly do not know how it came about, but it just stuck. His favorite food was sweet potato pie, he loved listening to Barney, and he loved to laugh. People could make him giggle, but I was the one that could get him to hysterically laugh. Hearing him laugh and seeing him smile always lit up my world. People that got to know Jesse were always touched by him. My second grade teacher, Mrs. Miller, was enthralled with him. At any school event that we brought Jesse to, she would turn her chair around and talk to him, rub his hand, and sing to him. There was always a light in her eyes whenever she saw him. I just wish more people could have been more like her.

            When you have a disabled child, nothing is ever smooth sailing. Jesse was always in and out of the hospital. He had to have several surgeries and he would get sick a lot. My brother would always go to a children’s hospital in Augusta, Georgia, since they had everything that he needed. Usually, I would miss school and stay at the hospital, I would stay at a friend’s house, or my dad would stay with me while my mom stayed with my brother. Thank goodness the staff at my elementary school was so understanding. One time when my brother was in the hospital, they all got together and bought Jesse some flowers and a teddy bear and had it sent to the hospital. It touched us that they cared so much for my brother and me.

            In July, 2005, that was when everything changed completely. One morning, my brother was not acting like his usual self. His eyes were half open and he was very quiet and groggy. I could not even get him to laugh for me. Of course, my parents were concerned, so they decided to take him to Greenville Memorial Hospital. I went to go stay with my friend at the time, Shelley. When my parents realized things were serious, they stayed at the hospital and let me stay with Shelley. My parents took me up to the hospital twice to visit my brother. I never realized how bad it was until I walked into his hospital room. He was hooked up to ventilator to help him breathe. There were wires, tubes, and beeping machines everywhere. The smell was sterile and the room was a dull white. As a twelve year old girl, it was too much to take. Seeing my brother in that condition nearly killed me, especially knowing there was not a single thing I could do for him. The doctors concluded that what probably happened was he had a seizure very early in the morning while we were asleep. The severe strength of the seizure, for a lack of better words, messed up his brain and could no longer function the way he could before. Doctors told my parents that if they kept Jesse on life support, then he would pretty much be a vegetable for the rest of his life. So, my parents were forced to make the most difficult decision in their entire life.

            July 31^st was an excruciating day. I was not there when Jesse’s life support was turned off. My parents thought it was best for me to stay home. They let my best friend, Brianna come over and keep my company. Originally, my mom’s friend, Beth, was supposed to pick us up, to help keep my mind off of everything. But she never showed up. I never did find out why. So, Brianna and I found ways to keep ourselves entertained. We played games, talked, and danced around to some of my parents’ old CDs. My neighbor stopped around 6 PM and asked us if we wanted Blue Bay Seafood. Of course we agreed and before we knew it, we were eating popcorn shrimp for dinner. My mom called to check on us a few times throughout the day. They had no idea how long it would take for Jesse to actually pass once the life support was turned off. At around 2:30 AM, 13 hours after his life support was turned off; our angel finally went home to the Lord.

            Since Jesse passed away, I look at life in a totally different perspective. Losing my little brother taught me that I need to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way. If I do not grasp what I want most in life then the opportunity may not be there the next day. It applies to family, friends, boyfriends, jobs, and most importantly college. Choosing to go to college was the best decision I ever made for myself. I knew that if I did not go to college, I would have a tough road ahead of me. I did not want to let an opportunity as important as this go down the drain. Every day when I walk on campus, I know that I am blessed for everything that I have. It is never easy to lose someone that you love, but I know that Jesse is watching over me. When the sun shines, I know that is him smiling down on me. And even though the wounds never truly heal, I know he is in a better place and one day we will meet again.

Literacy Narratives :)

So, I read "Blue Oblivion" by Jill Adams and I really enjoyed the story. She talked about how she had a bad experience with water at a young age and that she had always been afraid of it. In order to overcome her fear, she decided to take scuba-diving lessons. Throughout the story, you could tell that she was very vulnerable and uncomfortable with being in the water. Her vulnerability shows that she's only human and she's not invincible. Even though she never did learn to scuba-dive, you could also sense her determination. Even though she was terrified of going so far underwater, she really did want to learn and help overcome her fear. I give her a lot of credit for that because I would never have the guts to overcome one of my fears. But, I was definitely able to relate to the writer's story.

I have a deathly fear of snakes. I honestly don't know how it started, but I remember from a young age always being afraid of snakes. In person, on TV, in pictures, you name it. I am so afraid of them. If someone gave me the opportunity to be around a snake and try to overcome my fear, IT WOULD NOT HAPPEN. That would be way out of my comfort zone and I would be absolutely terrified. For a lack of better words, I wouldn't have the balls to overcome my fear like the writer tried to. The difference between us is that she actually wanted to and came very close to it. Me, on the other hand, would never be within five miles of a snake. But I feel I can relate to the writer when it comes to having a fear and being undeniably terrified.

Now, I just want to take a minute to mention what kind of ideas are brewing in my head for my own literacy narrative. I'm thinking I may go with when my younger brother passed away seven years ago. Losing him taught me that life is short and precious, so you have to go after the things you want in life. And take advantage of everything that life has to offer, whether it be your family, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a job offer, or the opportunity to go to college. If you don't grasp the things that are important to you now, you never know when those things might be gone. So, that's the idea stirring in my head right now and I really do hope it's a good one. Let me know if you think so! Until next time, see ya later! :)

Here are some things about me. :)

Well for starters, I'm new to this whole "blogging" thing, so bear with me please! My name is Ashley Lewis and I'm a freshman at USC Upstate. I graduated from Dorman High School this past May. I'm originally from Long Island, New York, but I've lived in Pauline, South Carolina for most of my life. This town that I live in is like Mayberry; everyone knows everyone and gossip spreads like wildfire, usually starting at the corner store across the street from my house. I really don't like it out here in the country and being so far from everything, but it's pretty much all I know.

 

Why am I here at Upstate instead of going to a college FAR AWAY from here? That's a good question and here's why: Upstate is such a good college. It has always been my first and only choice to come to this school. I knew back when I first started high school that I really didn't want to go away to school. I wanted to go to a good college that was close to home, that way I could commute back and forth. And Upstate is the perfect college for all of those things. It's about a 20-25 minute drive from my house, which is not terrible.

 

The path that led me here? Well, I guess it all started in high school. I worked my butt off in every class and I got all A's in my four years at Dorman. So when it came to getting into Upstate, I knew my grades wouldn't be a problem. But, I was a little slack when it came to college planning/SATs/ACTs, that sort of thing. I didn't start doing all of that until sometime during my senior year. I didn't apply for scholarships, which I'm kicking myself for, but all of the guidance counselors at my high school were NO help what so ever, when it came to college planning. My mom and I managed to figure it all out on our own, which was a miracle! Obviously, everything worked out since I'm here at Upstate now.

 

I honestly have to say that I haven't discovered my passion in life yet. I'm an 18 year old college freshman with an Undeclared major. I have many interests, but I haven't exactly figured out what my passion is. I'm hoping that by the time my freshman year is over, I have an idea of what I want to do with the rest of my life. So I will keep you posted when it comes to that.

 

Lastly, the outcomes that I desire? By the end of my four years at Upstate, I hope to have a degree that way I can find a good job. But on a short-term scale, I just want to make good grades in my classes. I know that it's going to be difficult, but I am determined to do what I have to to get a good grade. With that being said, I'm super excited to be starting English 101 and I can't wait to see what's to come in the future. So I guess until next time, fellow bloggers, bye! :)