Final Exam: Revised Essay!

***I chose to revise Essay 1: Rhetorical Analysis because it was one of the first essays I wrote in English 102 and it also was one of my favorites to write. I have learned a lot in the past few months that I felt could be helpful in revising this paper. I tweaked a few words here and there and added some sentences where I felt they were appropriate. I also deleted a few words and sentences to help make my paper better. I also added more analysis since that's what I was lacking the first time I wrote this essay.

Ashley Lewis

Instructor Thomas

English 102

01 February 2013

Angel:

A Look Inside the BCSPCA Video

            We have all seen the commercials for BCSPCA: images of abused animals with sad eyes, the song, “Angel,” playing in the background, and Sarah McLachlan pleading for donations that way animal cruelty can be stopped. Every time that commercial comes on our televisions, we automatically want to change the channel, but there is a part of us that wants to keep watching. We want to be able to jot down that phone number or web address so we can help the innocent animals. That is exactly what BCSPCA wants their audience to do. In this commercial, BCSPCA and Sarah McLachlan creatively use excellent metaphors, heart wrenching word choice, and heartbreaking sounds and images of abused animals, which lures the audience into donating money and stopping animal cruelty.

            BCSPCA’s overall goal in this commercial is to raise money and put an end to animal cruelty. Multiple times you hear Sarah McLachlan say to, “Call the number on your screen…with a monthly gift right now.” As heartbreaking as the commercial is, they are trying to raise money and BCSPCA makes sure to pound that into the audience’s head. By donating money to them, one less animal will be abused and that is exactly what we, as the audience, want. Also, during a majority of the commercial, the audience notices a phone number and web address at the bottom of the screen. BCSPCA does this that way it will be the last thing the audience remembers as soon as the commercial goes off. This sort of repetition of the phone number and web address is pounded into the audience’s head and makes it nearly impossible to forget to make a donation. Also, having their phone number and web address on the screen proves their credentials.

            BCSPCA appeals to the audience’s sense of knowledge by stating astonishing facts about animal abuse. At the very beginning of the video, a text pops up that reads, “Every single hour in BC, an animal is violently abused.” Most people are stunned by this fact. But by BCSPCA stating this, they are proving their credentials. A fact like this is something that BCSPCA knows and researches every day. It is their job to know facts such as this. Again, repetition is reflected since facts are stated and the phone number and web address repeatedly come up during the commercial. Also, the audience’s reaction to these facts evokes emotions in them, which is an example of pathos. With these emotions from the shock and anger, it makes the audience more willing to go out of their way to make a donation to BCSPCA.

            BCSPCA definitely gets their audience by pulling on their heartstrings. The first thing McLachlan asks the audience is, “Will you be an angel for a helpless animal?” McLachlan metaphorically calls the audience angels, which covers her request for money and flatters the audience at the same time. And of course, the audience wants to feel like angels by doing a good deed; donating money to BCSPCA makes the audience feel benevolent. Everyone wants to help the poor, innocent animals have a second chance at life. Another aspect that makes this commercial so powerful is McLachlan’s tone. Her tone is pleading, almost begging, for donations. At the end of the video, she pleads to her audience by saying, “Please call, right now.” She desperately wants her audience to help contribute, so she knows just what to say and how to say it to get her point across. 

The word choice used in this commercial also plays a strong role in why it gets to the audience’s heart. One particular sentence used in the commercial was worded like this: “Every day, innocent animals are abused, beaten, and neglected; and they’re crying out for help.” The words abused, beaten, and neglected appeals to the audience’s sense of melancholy and rage. No sane person wants to hear about a poor animal being beaten or neglected. Hearing words like that hurts the audience’s heart and at the same time, makes them want to hunt down all the abusers and do terrible things to them. For me, it hurts to watch this commercial because it makes me want to scoop up all of the animals and bring them home with me. But that is exactly the kind of reaction BCSPCA is trying to get out of their audience. If the audience is riled up enough, they will want to call in, donate money, and put a stop to animal abuse.

The strongest element, I would say, are the sounds in the BCSPCA commercial. As Sarah McLachlan’s song, “Angel,” plays in the background, images of helpless animals appear on the television screen. Some of the lyrics played in the commercial go like this:

            In the arms of the angel,
Fly away from here,
From this dark cold hotel room,
And the endlessness that you fear,
You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie…

BCSPCA knew exactly what they were thinking when they chose this song for their commercial. The lyrics perfectly describe what is happening with the abused animal. When the audience reaches out and donates to BCSPCA, they are pulling animals from whatever wreckage they are in and they will be in the audience’s arms, receiving love and comfort. The audience wants to feel like they have given an animal a second chance at life. The soundtrack alone makes the commercial what it is. Without the song, the commercial would not evoke as much emotion in the audience.

Seeing images of abused animals evokes sadness and rage in the audience. For some audience members, the images may even be a little offensive. Images of animals with a missing eye, three legs, or gashes on their bodies are so graphic, but that is the point BCSPCA is trying to make. Animal abuse is offensive, heartbreaking, and outraging. So, in showing those images, it makes the audience want to call in more than ever. 

            BCSPCA does an amazing job at achieving their purpose with their commercial. The images, sounds, metaphors, and word choice all contribute to make a powerful public service. When creating this commercial, BCSPCA knew exactly what elements needed to go into it to create rhetorical appeal for their audience. Millions of people donate to BCSPCA all the time, which is what they want. Of course, animal abuse is still an ongoing problem, but at least with commercials like this, light is being shed on it and things are being done to stop it.

 

 

 

Works Cited

McLachlan, Sarah. Angel. Surfacing, 1997. MP3.

Ragefc. “Sarah McLachlan Animal Cruelty Video.” Online video clip. YouTube. YouTube,           03 Oct. 2006. Web. 28 Jan. 2013.

 

 

 

 

 

ABA in Mainstream Schools Digital Project! :)

Essay 4 Self Reflection! :)

1.       What were your biggest challenges in researching and writing your Proposal?

 

The biggest challenge for me was trying to find good library sources that went along with my proposal. I only had one or two that came from Essay 3 and a majority of my sources were from the web. I found that I had an easier time finding web sources than sources from the library. Once I had my conference with Mrs. Thomas, she helped me find a few more library sources that were extremely helpful. I think my problem was using the right keywords when typing them into the databases. If you don’t know what key words to type in, most likely, you won’t get as many good hits.

 

 

 

 2.      What do you feel is the best element of your final proposal?

The best element of my proposal, I say, would have to be the research. Even though I struggled with finding the sources I needed, once I had them, I had no problem putting them into my paper. I had plenty of sources to go by and all the research definitely beefed up my paper! Another good thing about my proposal was the story in the beginning about Ethan. That story definitely gave my paper some pathos.

 

 

3.      What do you feel is the weakest element of your final proposal?

The weakest element of my paper would have to be the proposal itself. I’m worried that maybe I contradicted myself in the thesis or the overall proposal just doesn’t make sense. Apparently ABA is either done at home or in a special clinic, I was not sure if it made sense to have it in schools. It sounds like a pretty good idea though. So hopefully, my proposal makes sense to others!

 

 

4.      What could you have done differently to improve your overall performance with both the Literature Review and the Proposal?

One huge thing I could have done differently was choose a topic that I’m passionate about. Don’t get me wrong, I love the topic about autism in mainstream schools. It’s such an interesting topic that does not get enough attention. But after a while, I found myself losing interest in the whole thing. Maybe that’s because I struggled with research, but maybe if I was more passionate about the topic I chose, things would be different. I was having a hard time choosing a topic in the first place, that once I did find the autism topic, I sort of just settled with it. But I definitely don’t regret choosing the autism topic. I learned a lot of interesting things about the subject!

 

 

 

Essay 4 Rough Draft!

***SORRY, STILL NOT FINISHED! NEEDS LOTS OF WORK!!!***

Ashley Lewis

Instructor Thomas

English 102

22 April 2013

Can This Work?

Autism in Mainstream Schools

            Before five year old autistic Ethan started going to school, he had a hard time coping with the world around him. He hated being in large crowds since they made him uneasy. Ethan would cover his ears, shriek at the top of his lungs, and throw himself down onto the floor. Ethan’s mother had no idea what to do for him or how to control his behavior. That was until he started to attend school and going to the program known as “ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis).” ABA was used in a classroom curriculum to teach children who were on the Autism spectrum.

            For little Ethan, life became much easier for him once he entered the program. Of course, in the beginning, the teachers struggled with Ethan at first, trying to get him to learn and become used to the new environment. But, with the teachers’ constant care, affection, and determination, they were able to make a breakthrough with him. By the end of the school year, he was able to demand things that he wanted with no problem, he could point out different items and call them by their names, and he was able to be around large groups of people without having a meltdown. In fact, he loved being part of the community known as his classroom.

            Ethan’s story is just one success story because of this special program. For many other children, if this program was brought to schools all around the country, they would also have their own success story. Autistic children need and deserve proper education and socialization with their peers in mainstream schools. My proposal to this issue is to recreate the same program that Ethan attended for other children to work on their behavior, motor, reading, and speech skills within schools.

What is ABA and the history of it?

            ABA, which is shortened for “Applied Behavior Analysis,” is used especially for autistic children. According to Louise Holden, writer for The Irish Times, ABA is an intervention which largely employs one-on-one language and skill development between children and a qualified ABA specialist. ABA specialists help autistic children to work on their speech skills, motor skills, and behavioral skills, which benefits them in the long run for their future. This program is helpful for autistic children because once they master the skills they need, they will be able to function in a mainstream school and be successful.

Originally, ABA stemmed from PaTTAN, which is an initiative of the Pennsylvania Department of Education. PaTTAN works with families and schools to support programs to improve student learning and success (What is PaTTAN?). In 2008, a case study of this program was composed and documented over the course of a school year. As you watch the mini documentary, you can see all of the positive changes in all of the children (ABA Autism Classroom Case Study 2008). Another case study was conducted in 2012 and the outcomes were just as miraculous as the one done back in 2008. This program has not been around for a long time, but it is already proving to be effective for autistic children.

Who should push for this program?

            The people who should really push for this program to be put into effect are the special education teachers. They are the ones that spend eight or so hours a day, five days a week with the autistic children, teaching them what they need to know. Special education teachers play a significant role in preparing autistic children for the future. And it all starts by what the teachers teach them and how they teach them. At the end of the day, not only is this program rewarding for the children, but it is also rewarding for the teachers, since they feel like they have made a difference in a child’s life. According to Dr. Temple Grandin, assistant professor at Colorado State University, it is very important to have good teachers for autistic children. She writes, “Good teachers helped me to achieve success. I was able to overcome autism because I had good teachers.” With the help of caring teachers who want to see children go far in life and this program, it will definitely turn out to be a very positive outcome for everyone involved.

Working Thesis and Outline for Essay 4! (:

Working Thesis

Autistic children need and deserve proper education and socialization with their peers in mainstream schools. My proposal to this issue is to create special programs for children that work on their behavior, motor, reading, and speech skills within schools.

Outline

1.       Introduction

a.       Tell a story that relates to issue. (?)

b.      Give my proposal.

2.       Who should put this proposal into motion?

a.       Explain why parents should put this into motion.

b.      Say what they should do and how they should get it done.

3.       History of the issue

a.       Include how long this solution has been used.

b.      What other places are using it.

c.       What other methods are being used.

d.      Do they work or not?

4.       How will putting this proposal into motion benefit children?

a.       Explain the benefits of this action.

5.       What do the critics say about this proposal?

a.       How they feel about it.

b.      Why it wouldn’t work, in their view.

c.       Knock down their opinions with my own.

6.       Conclusion

a.       Overview of what I discussed.

b.      Come full circle.

 

 

 

Prospectus for Essay 4!

Autistic children tend to be towards the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to having a good, well-rounded education in a mainstream school. They lack proper education and socialization from others, which is putting them at a huge disadvantage. In order for them to succeed, they need to feel included and wanted, but still gain something in the process.  This is why a program that allows kids to learn what they need to know, while feeling including with their peers needs to be created. This is the type of idea I will be proposing in this paper. Some evidence I will use for this proposal is a majority of what I gathered for Essay 3.

                My target audience will either be teachers or parents. I have not quite decided which I want it to be, but I feel like both of them would be great choices. I would choose teachers because they are the ones that teach the children and spend eight or so hours a day with them. So, it is important for teachers to be caring, compassionate, firm, and on top of their game. I would choose parents because anything that happens with their child’s education goes through them. So, if they wanted a new program to be created for their kids, they could rally together and pitch the idea to whoever is in charge. As for rhetorical appeal, my goal is to try to use all three of them (pathos, logos, and ethos). With pathos, I could tell a story about an autistic child’s journey and how he/she has succeeded since. For logos, I can stress the overall message, which is the proposal for a new program for autistic children. Lastly, for ethos, I can cite from different sources and note their credentials.